


Phil’s birthday but Techno is platonically making out with Quackity in a forest

by kBmar



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Happy Birthday Keith (Voltron), Kid Ranboo, Kid Toby Smith | Tubbo, Kid TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), M/M, Sleepy Bois Inc as Family, Tea, and doesn't really talk, but it burns tommy, like he literally hides in corners, socially awkward ranboo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 20:29:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29890143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kBmar/pseuds/kBmar
Summary: Happy birthday Philza!(Quackity and Techno don't actually make out lol, just a funny title bc I'm a funny person)can be read as platonic or romantic (QNB)
Relationships: Alexis | Quackity & Phil Watson, Alexis | Quackity & Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Alexis | Quackity & TommyInnit, Alexis | Quackity & Wilbur Soot, Alexis | Quackity/Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo & Toby Smith | Tubbo & Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson
Comments: 5
Kudos: 139





	Phil’s birthday but Techno is platonically making out with Quackity in a forest

**Author's Note:**

> TW//not graphically described burn (near the end)  
> Swear warning!
> 
> so um this was supposed to be about Phil's bday... I mean it kinda is. 
> 
> Wil is Wilbur, the arrow line things are showing POV switch, and SBI + Ranboo + Tubbo are family.
> 
> I trailed off a bit on this, so if there's any mistakes or plot holes... I mean... just pretend there aren't or let me know please :)
> 
> ALSO I KNOW IM A WEEK LATE IM SORRY THIS TOOK TOO LONG TO WRITE AND I WAS WRITING ONE FOR SAP'S BDAY
> 
> enjoy!

“Dadza Dadza wake up Dadza come on get up Dadza Dadza!!!”

Phil sat up and looked at the two boys bouncing on his bed with a loving smile. 

“I will, I will. Calm down. Now go away so I can get dressed.”

“Oki!” they screamed. 

Tommy and Tubbo bounded out of the room, a third tall boy following behind. Phil hadn’t even noticed Ranboo in the corner.

After Phil had pulled on his clothes and grabbed his signature green bucket hat, he left his room and headed towards the kitchen.

Tommy and Tubbo were messing around on the stairs, with Ranboo attempting to keep the peace.

Phil shook his head and pushed past them.

Wil was leaning on the wall, scrolling through his phone.

“Oh! Dadza! Happy birthday!” he said genuinely, putting his phone down.

“How old are you, forty? Damn, on your way out,” he added.

“Thirty three,” Phil corrected. 

“Oh, sorry for the mix up, looks can be deceiving.” 

Phil rolled his eyes playfully.

“Oh shush.” 

Wil held out a mug of warm liquid.

“Coffee?”

“Sure.” 

Phil reached out and took the mug, right as Tommy rushed by, screaming about mercy.

“Oh dear... Tommy, are you ok? Where’re Tubbo and Ranboo?” Phil asked.

Two more figures zoomed by.

“Nevermind. Don’t break anything!” Phil called, walking towards the comfy chair in the corner by the door. 

“DO WE GET CAKE? I LOVE CAKE!” Tubbo screamed as he rushed past.

“Once Techno makes some, but for now you can have tea.” 

Wil pointed to the counter where two more steaming cups sat.

The three young boys rushed over, panting from their chase, and grabbed their tea. 

“Don’t spill!” Wil warned.

Phil sighed and looked at his watch.

“Where’s Techno? He said he’d wake up earlier today, and the kids definitely want cake.” Phil questioned.

“I don’t know. I think he’s out on a hot date,” Wil responded with a wink.

Phil blinked.

“Why.”

“He wasn’t in our room this morning.” 

Wil shrugged.

“What? Why didn’t you say anything?” Phil was getting worried.

“I didn’t think much of it, you know Techno’s weird.”

“Wil!” 

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Techno heard something ruffle the leaves behind him.

He was supposed to be alone.

The bushes shifted slightly. 

Techno firmly gripped the handle of his axe. 

“Ayy man, no need for choppin’ shit!” came an oddly familiar voice.

“Quackity? What are you doing out here?”

“Eh, just taking a walk.”

Techno narrowed his eyes.

“And hiding in bushes?”

Quackity grinned.

“Exactly.”

Techno was skeptical. 

“...alright then.”

“What are you doing here? Hunting poor, unsuspecting animals? Hiding bodies? Dealing drugs?” Quackity asked.

“Walking,” Techno answered.

“WELL YEAH! But where to, dummy?”

Techno tensed. 

“A clearing.”

Quackity rolled his eyes.

“Fine, be ambiguous. Keep up the mysterious act.”

“Will do,” Techno held two finger up in a fake salute.

He had walked all of ten feet before Quackity was calling his name and running back up to him. 

“Wait!”

Techno stopped for a second and glanced beside him at Quackity. The man was out of breath, hands on his thighs and panting. 

“You good?” Techno asked.

“Yes! ...yes,” he gasped. “I was just wondering, um...” he laughed airily for a second. “Could I come with you?” he finished shyly. 

“...”

“Please? I have nowhere to be and I’m kinda lonely...”

“Fine,” Techno grumbled.

Looks like his peaceful plans had been disturbed.

“Yay! Thank you Techie!” 

“Don’t call me that.”

“Oh, alright, alright.” 

Quackity reached for Techno’s hand.

The rest of their journey was filled with Quackity’s chattering. Every once in a while Techno would roll his eyes or briefly comment on something the other man said, but otherwise he stayed quiet. His attention was directed at their intertwined hands.

⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙

“Stop freaking out. Have you tried calling him?” Wil suggested. 

“... no.” 

“Well, do that.”

“Alright.” 

Phil dialed Techno. He didn’t pick up.

⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙

Their destination was gorgeous. Quackity’s eyes widened at the twisting vines and sprouting flowers; he’d never seen anything like this in Lmanberg. 

The sun shone a perfect orange color through the tops of trees, highlighting large pink and small blue flowers. Fern-looking plants were growing amongst tall grass and between the rocks on the ground. 

Quackity’s ogling was interrupted by Techno’s phone.

Techno didn’t check the name, just let the ringtone play out.

“Sorry.” he mumbled as the tune ended.

Quackity was back to gazing at the scenery. He missed Techno’s apology. 

“This is um... yeah, it’s very pretty,” Quackity stated, a bit unsure of himself in such a beautiful place. 

Techno glanced at Quackity. His face was full of admiration, and the orangey light illuminated his face at the perfect angle. 

Quackity looked over, and Techno’s face gently flushed. Quackity gave a small smile.

Techno pulled out a book from his cloak and sat down on one of the larger rocks.

“Ooh, what are you reading?” Quackity sounded a tad quieter than usual.

“The Art of War.” 

“Oh. Cool,” Quackity looked down, hiding his face. He focused on the small green plants growing there. 

Techno could tell Quackity wanted to ask more. Techno thought this was strange, Quackity was normally more vocal. 

“Whatcha doing over there?”

Quackity’s head snapped up. 

“Just, you know, looking at the flowers.”

“...m”

Techno returned to his book, trying to forget about Quackity’s weird behavior. 

But a few minutes later when he looked back over, Quackity was standing in the same time place with an awkward stance. 

“Just ask.” 

Techno was getting annoyed at Quackity’s gawky attitude.

“Um, can... I sit next to you?”

Techno froze. SLIGHTLY MORE INTIMATE SOCIAL SITUATION??????

“Uh- sure.”

He tried to keep his voice even, not sure if it worked though. 

“Thanks, Blade.”

Quackity grinned.

Techno just sighed.

⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙

“Can I please freak out now?”

The answer didn’t matter; Phil was already freaking out.

“Not yet... he could be with someone else, or reading, or he could just not want to talk to me. I’ll try texting him.”

Phil grumbled. 

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

The texts were left on delivered.

⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙

Quackity and Techno had been sitting on the rock together, Techno reading and Quackity asking questions and taking everything in, slightly leaning on each other, for a while.

“How’s Phil? It’s his birthday today, right?”

“He’s...crap.”

“He’s crap?” Quackity giggled.

Techno didn’t have time for a snarky response. 

“I have to, um, go. Yeah.”

Techno stood from the rock, Quackity close behind. 

“Oh, were you supposed to be home? Techno, silly goose!”

That he could respond too. 

“I am not silly. Nor a goose.”

“Sure, one could argue that.”

“And they’d be correct.”

Techno sighed and shook his head; he had bigger problems than being called ‘silly.’

He was supposed to bake Phil’s birthday cake.

“Quackity, is Niki’s bakery still open?”

“I don’t know, why?”

“I was supposed to make Phil a cake, but now I don’t have time to go home and make it.”

Quackity tilted his head.

“I’M COMING WITH!”

“...mkay.”

⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙

Phil had not listened to Wil’s advice. He was most definitely panicking.

Techno had been missing all day.

“Alright, alright, sheesh... calm down, mate.”

Wil’s poor attempt at consoling Phil was futile. Techno could be lost, injured, dead… well probably not dead; Techno was good at defending himself and carried an axe. But still. 

⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙

“I can't believe we’re doing this.” 

Quackity whimpered at the wind’s faint whistles. Every noise was terrifying in this context.

“Hey, you insisted on coming.”

“I thought we were gonna buy one!! Not steal! From Niki, no less?!” 

Techno shrugged his shoulders. 

“Alright, through here,” Techno practically ordered.

“A window? Nuh uh.” Quackity planted his feet firmly, unmoving. 

“Quackity…” 

Techno’s pleading glare made Quackity squirm. 

“Fine, your thoughtful and intelligent argument has convinced me to jump through this window,” Quackity mumbled.

“You don’t have to jump,” Techno corrected.

“Ahh yes, thank you for letting me know.”

“Just climb through the window, please.”

Quackity huffed but complied.

“Anyone in there?” Techno called.

“No? Why would there be? All the lights are off, the doors are locked, and it’s getting late. What kind of weirdos would be in here at this hour besides us?”

“Just checking. People can be strange.” Techno muttered the last part under his breath.

“What do I do now?”

“Unlock the door.”

Quackity obeyed. Sort of.

“Welcome to Niki’s bakery, what can I get you?” Quackity asked in a mocking salesperson voice, only cracking the door to look at Techno.

“An open door, perhaps?”

Quackity rolled his eyes and opened the door fully. 

“You’re no fun.”

“I never said I was.”

They started searching the shelves and glass cases for a cake. There were pastries and muffins and scones and cookies, but no cakes.

“Hmph, I can’t find one,” Quackity complained.

“Me neither. Guess we’ll have to make one after all. Do you know how to bake?”

“... kind of?” Quackity’s voice rose, making his lie obvious.

“Sure.”

Techno knew Quackity wouldn’t be any help, so he grabbed all the ingredients and got started by himself. 

“Butter, sugar, vanilla…” Techno listed to himself.

“Eggs, salt, flour, baking powder, milk, oil?” Quackity finished. 

Techno’s brows rose, and his mouth hung open. Maybe Quackity wasn’t lying. 

“How…? But-“

“I know a few recipes, the basics, but nothing too fancy.”

“Oh.”

Techno plucked all of the items Quackity had listed. When he reached for the eggs, he felt a hand brush against his own.

Confused, he looked towards Quackity, who took the opportunity to snatch the eggs.

“Um.”

Quackity sniggered and launched an egg at Techno’s face.

Yellow goop oozed down the man’s head and torso. He narrowed his eyes as Quackity doubled over in laughter. 

“What the heck.”

“J-just say, just say fuck, man!” Quackity wheezed out. Techno looked ridiculous. 

Techno took an egg from the carton, and in Quackity’s time of weakness, smashed it into his cheek with an evil grin.

Quackity frowned.

He scooped up a handful of flour, dumping it over Techno’s head. 

This was war. 

⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙

“I can’t reach him either, maybe… maybe something is wrong,” Wil finally admitted.

“Try his friends? Skeppy or Dream might know something?”

“Aye aye, captain.” 

Wil dialed Skeppy and put him on speaker.

“WHAt the fUcK DO yOU WANT?!” 

“Have you seen Techno? He’s… missing, and Phil’s worried.”

“Nah, who knows where that bitch is. Probably making out with Dream,” Skeppy laughed at his own joke. 

Phil stiffened and Wil tensed.

“Hope you find him though,” he added. “Would suck if he got an-“

“Alright! That’s enough of that,” Wil chuckled nervously.

⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙

Both boys were covered in unbaked cake guts; powder and liquid and sticky goop.

They lay on top of each other on the floor, a mess surrounding them. 

“We have to clean this up, you know.” Techno snickered. 

Quackity groaned. 

It took them almost two hours to clean it all; they kept getting distracted and throwing more things at each other. Eventually they got down to business, wiping off the goop on their body and clothes with some paper towels and scrubbing the floor and countertops.

When they finally finished, it was almost nine o’clock. 

“And we still have to bake,” Quackity reminded Techno.

“Fricking heck.”

“Just goddamn fucking curse!”

Techno bent down slightly, leveling his eyes with Quackity’s.

“Fuck you.”

Quackity’s cheeks turned beet red.

Techno winked at him before standing back up. 

“Bitch…” Quackity mumbled under his shaky breath.

“I heard that.”

“No you didn’t.”

“Whatever. Time to bake. For real.”

So they got to work, pouring and cracking and dumping and mixing and lifting.

When the oven dinged, Techno pulled out the cake with Quackity hovering closely. He set it down on the counter to cool.

Once it was cool enough, Techno tapped Quackity on the shoulder and pointed at the cake.

Quackity grinned maniacally.

“DECORATING TIME!” he shouted, running around the bakery and grabbing cans of frosting and sprinkles.

Techno shook his head, watching Quackity dump all sorts of sweets and sugar onto the cake.

Quackity finished up and ushered Techno closer. He leaned forward, their shoulders faintly touching. 

Quackity almost pulled away.

“Beautiful,” Techno hummed quietly.

Quackity’s eyes went wide, and he straightened and rubbed the back of his neck.

“Yeah… so uh we bringing this to Phil?” 

“Yep.”

“I’ll just follow you then.”

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“Dream?”

“Oh, hey, Wilbur. What’s up?”

“Have you seen Techno?”

“Pig boy? Um, I don’t think so. Have you tried asking Skeppy?”

Wil sighed. 

“Yeah, he hadn’t seen Techno either.”

Phil was pacing back and forth, stopping every once in a while to inhale or exhale deeply.

“Actually, I might know where he is. This might sound silly, but I heard some… crunching noises along a path near the forest by your house. Could be techno.”

“Oh my god, thank you Dream! I owe you.”

“How about… repay me with a kiss?” Dream jokingly asked.

“You know what, sure. See you later!”

Phil stared at Wil, his growing smile halted. 

Wil shrugged and hung up. He tried calling Techno again.

⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙⋙

The two boys walked back to Techno’s house, Quackity lightly squeezing Techno’s hand that wasn't holding the cake with one of his own, this time lightheartedly talking. 

Quackity swung their arms back and forth, smiling brightly.

“Stop, I’m gonna drop the cake!” Techno protested. 

Quackity didn’t stop. 

Techno huffed.

His phone rang for the second time that day. He passed the cake over to Quackity, who reluctantly released his grip on Techno’s hand to take it. Techno fished his phone out of his pocket with his free hand and looked at the screen; the call was from Wil. He grudgingly answered.

“One second, Quackity. It’s Wil.”

Quackity nodded.

“Hallo.”

A voice screeched from Techno’s phone, scolding and questioning him.

“Yes, I’m ok. I do. Yeah, we’re on our way back. We? Oh yeah, I’m with Quackity.”

The voice squawked some more.

“Ah, you’re so loud! Yes, Quackity. Alex Quackity HQ. Oh my god, calm down. Huh? Oh, I didn’t pick up because we were… occupied earlier. WHAT! NO!” 

Techno’s face burned a bright red. Quackity wondered what Wil had said. 

“Texts?”

Techno checked his messages. 

“Oh, oops. I don’t have a ringer for texts. Plus, I wasn’t really paying attention. NO, SHUT UP! Whatever, I’m hanging up on you.”

Techno’s faded blush was coming back strong.

“Everything good?” Quackity asked.

“Yeah, just missed some texts. And remember that call I declined? It was from Wil. My family was concerned.”

“Oh, ok.”

They continued walking, farther apart now. Until Quackity shifted the cake and reached for Techno’s hand, that is. 

Techno took Quackity’s hand, and their conversation continued smoothly.

When they reached the home, Phil was standing in the doorway, with Wil next to him, and Tubbo, Tommy, and Ranboo crowded behind. The kids seemed unaffected, while the older men wore relieved expressions.

Quackity straightened and dropped Techno’s hand at the sight of the large family. He gave the cake to Techno, who took it and reached back over with his other hand to grab Quackity’s again. 

Quackity blushed and glared at him. 

“What were you two so ‘busy’ doing?” Phil smirked.

“Reading, cleaning, and baking. Speaking of which, happy birthday. Getting up there,” Techno responded coolly. 

Phil rolled his eyes.

“I am not that old.”

“Sure.”

“EXCUSE ME?! ARE WE BRUSHING PAST TECHNO CLEANING? WITH QUACKITY NO LESS! DIDNT YOU LIKE MURDER HIM IN MINECRAFT MONDAY?” Wil exclaimed, looking down at their interlaced hands.

“He did do that,” Quackity chimed in.

“Which part? The murdering or cleaning?”

“Both?”

“True. Now can we move on?”

Tubbo stopped whispering with Tommy to say, “Yes. I want cake.”

“And yall are boring,” Tommy added.

Ranboo nodded silently. 

“Alright, inside, kids. Quackity, please come in,” Phil said. Wil and the three kids left for the dining room.

“I’m sorry in advance,” Techno muttered. 

“What? They seem fine,” Quackity responded quietly. 

Techno hummed and ushered Quackity through the front door. They didn't unclasp their hands until they were securely inside with the door closed behind them.

“This way,” Phil directed.

They walked slowly to a room with a dark wooden table and matching chairs, stone walls, a beautiful painting, and an intricate light fixture hanging from the ceiling.

Seated at the table were Ranboo, Tubbo, and Tommy, who appeared to have something on his arm. Tubbo was frowning, Ranboo’s brows were scrunched, and Wil was hovering around the boys with a cold rag. 

How did Tommy manage to injure himself in less than… 60 seconds?

“Tommy, I told you not to spill it.”

Tommy whined a little.

“I’m sorry, Tommy. You three can eat with me in Tommy’s room if you want.”

Tommy sniffled and nodded.

The boys rose and headed upstairs while Wil cut three slices of sugary cake to bring with him.

“I’m sorry we won’t get to eat with you; Tommy’s a moron and spilled his second cup of hot tea on his arm. Tubbo and Ranboo said they're going to make him a cast though, which I will admit is pretty cute. Maybe he’ll let you two sign it.”

“Sure. Later,” Techno answered.

“See ya.”

Techno nodded towards Wil and pulled out a chair for Quackity, who gave a small ‘thank you’ before taking a seat.

Techno sat next to him.

“Where did you get this cake? You didn’t make it here, and Niki’s bakery has been closed all day,” Phil asked.

He was genuinely curious as to how they obtained the cake. No one really knew how to bake except for Niki and maybe Techno, but he didn’t have access to a kitchen. 

Quackity and Techno were thrown off by the question. 

“Um,” Quackity started, mouth full of cake.

“Found it. In… the forest,” Techno finished.

“Mhm…” 

Techno huffed. 

“Fine, we broke into Niki’s bakery and made it.”

Quackity’s eyes went wide, until he saw the smile on Phil’s face.

“And had a food fight,” he added, more relaxed at Phil’s calm nature.

“Now that sounds more believable.”

They made comfortable conversation as they ate. The cake tasted relatively good, but there was an excessive amount of sprinkles and frosting.

“Alright, we’re going upstairs,” Techno announced a few minutes after they had finished their cake.

“Um-” Quackity stuttered. 

Phil raised his eyebrows.

“Oh my god, not like that.”

Techno stood up and grabbed Quackity’s arm, dragging him away from the table towards the stairs.

Phil called out a goodbye.

Once they had reached the second floor, Wil opened the door to Tommy’s room and popped his head out. Quackity remembered Techno’s hand on his arm.

“Hey, wanna sign Tommy’s cast now?”

Techno looked over to Quackity.

“Yeah?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Quackity nodded.

“Hey, Tommy! Oh my… adorable.” Wil interrupted himself.

Tubbo and Ranboo sat on either side of Tommy, doodling on his ‘cast,’ colorful markers and sharpies splayed around them.

Tommy had stopped crying, and they were chatting away happily.

Quackity’s heart melted at the sight.

“Affection. Gross. Quackity, grab a pen.”

“Yeesh, alright, so demanding.”

Techno released Quackity’s arm. Quackity reached for a pen, choosing a dark blue one.

“Hey Tommy.” He gestured to the boy’s cast. “May I?”

Tommy nodded vigorously. 

Quackity knelt down and scribbled his name on the material. He added a ‘get well’ and a lopsided heart for good measure.

“All done. Hope your burn heals.”

“Of course it will, I’m a big man. With big healing skills.”

Quackity smiled. 

“I’m sure of it.” 

“Alright, you’ve had your fun, off to bed you three. And Tommy, no special treatment tomorrow! You’ve milked this enough,” Wil opened the door and ushered everyone but Tommy out. He directed the boys to their respective rooms to say goodnight to each.

Techno was smiling loosely. He loved his family.

**Author's Note:**

> ayy 3k words pog
> 
> ty for reading!
> 
> have a good day/night/ afternoon! <3


End file.
